Nicole vs. Life
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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