Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
