If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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