He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?