Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it

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  (773): I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it http://tfl.nu/d3ej
  Replies (2) Good night (2031) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Awesome. Ask her out.

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.

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  (224): Awesome. Ask her out. (815): Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her. http://tfl.nu/pquv
  Replies (14) Good night (588) Bad night (1679)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket

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  (215): I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket http://tfl.nu/8xo3
  Replies (11) Good night (3783) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.

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  (970): I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach. http://tfl.nu/dziv
  Replies (44) Good night (4076) Bad night (1629)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  You're 20.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  IT'S BUILD A BEAR!

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  (734): So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear. (810): You're 20. (734): IT'S BUILD A BEAR! http://tfl.nu/k2jt
  Replies (149) Good night (11487) Bad night (2183)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man

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  (215): and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man http://tfl.nu/boh9
  Replies (11) Good night (4045) Bad night (1507)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.

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  (606): how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked. http://tfl.nu/j1kr
  Replies (20) Good night (1153) Bad night (4737)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.

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  (907): Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen. http://tfl.nu/l4cq
  Replies (11) Good night (3385) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT

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  (902): WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT http://tfl.nu/q56u
  Replies (6) Good night (710) Bad night (2610)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face

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  (320): I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face http://tfl.nu/yj9t
  Replies (7) Good night (2710) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.

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  (312): Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom. http://tfl.nu/3sxn
  Replies (8) Good night (558) Bad night (1180)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.

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  (709): He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes. http://tfl.nu/6yst
  Replies (6) Good night (591) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Why are your underwear on my dining room table?

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  (904): Why are your underwear on my dining room table? http://tfl.nu/jeuq
  Replies (5) Good night (513) Bad night (237)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.

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  (202): Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer. http://tfl.nu/d3xk
  Replies (3) Good night (644) Bad night (251)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.

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  (402): All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail. http://tfl.nu/8ssh
  Replies (3) Good night (440) Bad night (254)

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