Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.

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(404): Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one. http://tfl.nu/q7a8

Replies (2) Good night (2731) Bad night (501)
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(347): View more from New York

Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one

(347): View more from New York

Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...

(802): View more from Vermont

do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.

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(347): Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one (347): Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy... (802): do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy. http://tfl.nu/wg4e

Replies (43) Good night (3170) Bad night (924)
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(410): View more from Maryland

It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.

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(410): It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force. http://tfl.nu/y0by

Replies (44) Good night (3576) Bad night (1827)
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(949): View more from California

The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning

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(949): The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning http://tfl.nu/sax1

Replies (35) Good night (651) Bad night (4989)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.

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(651): She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three. http://tfl.nu/b36h

Replies (17) Good night (788) Bad night (5151)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.

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(413): The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again. http://tfl.nu/v6ko

Replies (19) Good night (7965) Bad night (1365)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero

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(859): Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero http://tfl.nu/5voz

Replies (9) Good night (4787) Bad night (1498)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.

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(717): dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high. http://tfl.nu/gyij

Replies (20) Good night (6054) Bad night (1283)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.

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(412): I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay. http://tfl.nu/hmq3

Replies (10) Good night (1381) Bad night (2894)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.

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(901): If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week. http://tfl.nu/qgby

Replies (37) Good night (3840) Bad night (1624)
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(772): View more from Florida

He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...

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(772): He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off... http://tfl.nu/s4wu

Replies (3) Good night (1564) Bad night (1138)
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(928): View more from Arizona

Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture

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(928): Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture http://tfl.nu/vg21

Replies (3) Good night (1678) Bad night (1072)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.

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(865): She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise. http://tfl.nu/2xsu

Replies (10) Good night (706) Bad night (1372)
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(813): View more from Florida

I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.

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(813): I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller. http://tfl.nu/9m9c

Replies (7) Good night (505) Bad night (851)
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(425): View more from Washington

The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.

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(425): The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house. http://tfl.nu/wynr

Replies (4) Good night (473) Bad night (297)

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