Texts From Last Night

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  (518): View more from New York

  after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.

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  (518): after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date. http://tfl.nu/xryi
  Replies (43) Good night (8380) Bad night (800)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"

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  (636): we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle" http://tfl.nu/m65a
  Replies (17) Good night (7291) Bad night (1025)
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  (415): View more from California

  i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.

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  (415): i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break. http://tfl.nu/4rzb
  Replies (16) Good night (1343) Bad night (4339)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.

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  (248): she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing. http://tfl.nu/gzcy
  Replies (26) Good night (13888) Bad night (1342)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  her body is proportioned like a family guy character

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  (716): her body is proportioned like a family guy character http://tfl.nu/ptef
  Replies (15) Good night (1588) Bad night (4286)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.

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  (+44): Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism. http://tfl.nu/zz0f
  Replies (14) Good night (4547) Bad night (1077)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Show him your tits if he says no

  (1-209): View more from California

  They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.

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  (209): Show him your tits if he says no (1-209): They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits. http://tfl.nu/0j62
  Replies (8) Good night (2187) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.

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  (601): Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog. http://tfl.nu/t7wp
  Replies (7) Good night (2500) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.

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  (904): She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes. http://tfl.nu/nuhm
  Replies (2) Good night (936) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.

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  (907): Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina. http://tfl.nu/7bx7
  Replies (2) Good night (942) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.

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  (218): We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand. http://tfl.nu/ljk5
  Replies (2) Good night (589) Bad night (654)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.

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  (423): I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings. http://tfl.nu/2rp0
  Replies (5) Good night (1645) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  I don't know what to say

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  (248): Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud? (1-248): I don't know what to say http://tfl.nu/pf22
  Replies (1) Good night (589) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.

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  (940): Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked. http://tfl.nu/qrsb
  Replies (5) Good night (1003) Bad night (267)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.

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  (586): Called Apple, my penis pics are safe. http://tfl.nu/3w3t
  Replies (4) Good night (582) Bad night (203)

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