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• (949): View more from California

  i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?

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  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling

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• (949): View more from California

  Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.

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  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????

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