Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
