you win again, gameday.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
