buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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