She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
