do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
