quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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