Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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