I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
