hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
