But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
