My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
