is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
