The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
