What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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