I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
