It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
