Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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