my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm really busy with my period
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