Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize