is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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