"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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