she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Randomize