if you like me you must not know who I am
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
