My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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