he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
