people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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