apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
