dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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