So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
