dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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