I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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