Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
