You can't special order awesome
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Randomize
