I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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