Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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