when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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