Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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