also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
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I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
NoShamevember. You game?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize