I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
