Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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