just come out here and I will go home with you...
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
