My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
