I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
