I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
