whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
