So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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