I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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