Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
