yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
