I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
