Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
there is glitter all over my balls
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
