i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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