I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
