MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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