You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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