The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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