Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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