sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
