What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
