you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
